Feeling of the Soul

[hankabadpoet]

Gorgeous imagery and wonderful subject matter. I must say though, it could use some shifting in punctuation perhaps. Lines 3-7 feel like one single idea, and the period after the word 'universe' breaks that up. Disregarding grammatical convention, a comma would be nice giving it a run-on feeling, almost like a passionate rant... And perhaps a period at "the eyes will never know. Suddenly,"
Another thing I am personally craving in this piece is some sort of stanza break, so the individual ideas can be seen separately and it all doesn't just run together. Fine writing overall!
Hank.