12-07-2013, 07:13 AM
Hi Charles. I like it, I like the (I don't know what you call it) declarative tone, sort of like an old heroic couplet (sort of, please don't quiz me 
). Perhaps add some complication to it though, maybe a bit of irony or absurdity somewhere. After all, if it were to be taken at face value, some of this advice would be very impractical to live up to. Or rather, I like the sureness of it, but I can't read it without an air of implied uncertainty and failure on the part of the narrator (but perhaps I've very pessimistic). Hope that makes sense!
). Perhaps add some complication to it though, maybe a bit of irony or absurdity somewhere. After all, if it were to be taken at face value, some of this advice would be very impractical to live up to. Or rather, I like the sureness of it, but I can't read it without an air of implied uncertainty and failure on the part of the narrator (but perhaps I've very pessimistic). Hope that makes sense!