Whiskey Memories third edit

[ChristopherSea]

Hello beaufort, There is a lot to like in this poem. I had a concern with a couple of your line breaks and the jolting switch from the 'girl' to the 'men' in the closing stanza, which was quite odd for me:

Whiskey Memories

As a child she was fat like her mother,
arms and legs sausage tight and round,
her aunts rolled their eyes, wagged their heads, <'shook their heads' wagging sounds like a dog's tail to me>
knowing she would never get a man.

Now she’s almost grown, eighteen,
working at the Side Track Grill,
made-up eyes dark and smoky, with <'eyes made up dark and smoky'>
hips, grandma said, made for birthing.

The boys act the fool around her,
with spotted chins, sleeveless shirts
dreaming of her legs round their waists
hips rolling like the wheels of a chevy.

Even the grown men after work,
watch the way she flips her hair
the way she laughs, the way she
spews anger out her eyes when she sees you looking.

They down a scotch or two,
then drive the blacktop road home
to their memories of dark-eyed girls,

home to their dreams of success,
home to their wives, now stubborn and sour,
who want more than they can give.

I was very interested in this girl, less so with the men, probably because they come and leave like an afterthought or an appendix in that final stanza. Why not make two poems out of this. 'Nubile' with the girl and 'Whiskey Memories' with the men. Some thoughts for your next edit. See what you think. Nice work!/Chris