12-01-2013, 12:50 PM
Hi. I'm super new, so I don't know if I'm allowed to comment, or if so, how, but I have read a lot of poetry -- I love it, or I wouldn't be here -- so I have some responses to your work, if that's OK. I'll check back to find out.
My first impulse is I like it much better without stanzas. It deserves to be visually dense because the experience you're romanticizing (the Ordinary) is dense with detail, as is your poem.
My first impulse is I like it much better without stanzas. It deserves to be visually dense because the experience you're romanticizing (the Ordinary) is dense with detail, as is your poem.