11-28-2013, 06:03 AM
I decide that I'll stay
I can't just go away
But only for tonight,
I swear this is our last time.
I like the flow of the poem, and the rhythm is very catchy.
but perhaps you should add another stanza as to describe your feelings in the house, and how your feelings now differ from the promises that you originally made.
Furthermore, it is quite difficult to understand whether or not you are cheating on your partner, or whether they are the ones who are cheating on you?
Finally , in order to really drive home the point, try and write a stanza about how innocent the partner is.
I hope this helps rather than confused you!
I can't just go away
But only for tonight,
I swear this is our last time.
I like the flow of the poem, and the rhythm is very catchy.
but perhaps you should add another stanza as to describe your feelings in the house, and how your feelings now differ from the promises that you originally made.
Furthermore, it is quite difficult to understand whether or not you are cheating on your partner, or whether they are the ones who are cheating on you?
Finally , in order to really drive home the point, try and write a stanza about how innocent the partner is.
I hope this helps rather than confused you!