Fighting life, edit 2

[Charlesjoseph]

For honor’s sword they went along
to where they were not welcome; ( i like this opening)
they left havoc in their wake,
but wrecking left them broken. (the last two lines confuse me)

Their shadows rust, and looks downcast,
they stumbled over dead men.
Their eyes were wild and feet immense;
they howled for hope and heaven. (if you edit the they/ their i think this verse will clean right up)

On far-flung stage they clambered on
forgetting what had brought them, (I like this)
they boxed and veiled their misery-- (this As well)
hearts could no longer open. (Sounds and reads clunky to me)

Hey cloudy,
I think there are to many they/their here. Your first line is really good perhaps you should follow the rhythm of that line throughout it has a good feel to it. Hope this was more help than hinderance.
Chazz