11-26-2013, 08:12 AM
The original phrasing makes more sense in the scheme of things. But there's no reason not to see ifni better line comes to you some time in the future.
interesting idea: maybe at some point, for the sake of poetic exploration, decide to raise the fever pitch of the stanza and use something like: One hand is reaching for the door, the other scrabbling feebly against the floor." aha a little dark, but it's interesting to think about all the ways you could express deeper and sharper meaning.
food for thought
interesting idea: maybe at some point, for the sake of poetic exploration, decide to raise the fever pitch of the stanza and use something like: One hand is reaching for the door, the other scrabbling feebly against the floor." aha a little dark, but it's interesting to think about all the ways you could express deeper and sharper meaning.
food for thought