Our Last Time

[Mungo man]

* nice, strong title *

I don't know why I'm still here
I should be heading home
I don't have anything to fear
I'm just so alone.

Smoke in the neon lights
Reflect my pain tonight
Can we just pretend
It'll never happen again.

I'll kiss you before I go
But you won't know
You're already sleeping
I whisper in your ear "You're the only one I'm seeing"

Warm breath, red wine
We both know it's past time
Should I stay, should I leave?
Will there be explaining to do if you wake up to me? * These last sentences in the stanza both have 14 syllables and the way they simultaneously reinforce a relationship and create a sense of distance between 'the only one I'm seeing.'

Am I that forgettable?
Am I so predictable?
What do you do to me?
Can you see right through me? * this line falls slightly flatter than the rest. It contrasts with the first 2-3 lines in the stanza. The first two flow well and the third sentence seems to raise the emotional pitch; then sentence 4 kind of left me wanting. *

Should I go?
I just don't know.
One hand is reaching for the door,
Why do I have these feelings though? * these feeling though? Come on, you can do better than that the rest of this poem is proof of that. It seems out of place with the atmosphere you've created. *

I sit down and put my head against the wall
I really don't want to fall.
I'm too drunk for this, too high for this,
And my lips are still trembling from our last kiss. * great way to introduce the decision made in the final stanza. *

I decide that I'll stay
I can't just go away
But only for tonight,
I swear this is our last time. It really drives home the decision that the speaker was concerned with throughout the entirety of the poem. It also served to reinforce the hopelessness they seem to feel at being too weak to get away. I hope I helped and overall it seems like you did a really great job. *

That was beautiful :'D in a... dark, emotionally raw sense. Thank you for sharing that and just know... Great imagery.