Little Seed

[Mungo man]

A tree is a little explosion
of light in slowest motion.
Hanging your thoughts
on leaves and dreams
in root, one day a bloom 'in root' throws me off here. You were talking about hanging your thoughts on the highest part of the tree and leaving your dreams in the soil. Is this a veiled way of saying that your dreams and hopes have a way of nurturing people as they grow up? Because that's deep. But you might want to rethink the rhythmic scheme on this. That's if you want it to flow smoothly. It's your call
will come to fruit
to be enjoyed by those
living in time simple enough
to rest next such a it feels like some words are missing in these last 6 lines. I kind of enjoy your Conflagration of color being put to rest by 'in the arms of the old earth' . But what about *ancient*?
conflagration of color
and wind in the arms
of the old earth.

Hey polar bear, I feel like I need to make some over-all comments on it. This was hard to really fix because the phrasing and line breaks (and some parts I really don't understand) make it hard for me to fix grammar mistakes. If you went through and made a few more revisions to meter, structure, and rewording and whatnot then I can give you some more meaningful advice.

I liked it though, its got spirit, and I think you can do great things with some practice.

p.s. I know this sounds hella boring, but if you spend a few minutes a day (or more) reading about meter then you kind of start to see how rhythm affects the effectiveness of your poem.