11-24-2013, 12:22 PM
Shouldn't L3 have an "a" before "high"? I assume you're aiming for haiku, though I'd say fudge that and just make it an ordinary short poem. It is pretty good, imbued with a soft and powerful clarity, a concision of image, needing no concrete purpose except to present itself. Thank you for the read
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe