Dad

[Mikeodial]

You wanted me to be a Dr.
I agreed
but really
I wanted to be a writer.

I sat there staring out the window
Looking for your car.
I had my favorite outfit on
I even drew a picture of us together.
He said he was coming almost 3 hours ago
We were supposed to go to the park.

I heard my mother on the phone in the other room
trying to muffle her voice,
"You told him you were fucking coming!"

He's coming.
I know it.
I wonder what he looks like now.
I can't wait to tell him about school.
I bet he remembered my birthday present this time.

So now I'm writing
Poems, not prescriptions.
And I remember you told me once,
"You can be anything you want to be"
Why didn't you want to be my dad?


------------------------------------------------
ORIGINAL

You wanted me to be a Dr.
I lied and agreed
but really
I wanted to be a writer.

I sat there staring out the window
I had my favorite outfit on
I even had this drawing I did for him.
He said he was coming almost 3 hours ago
We were supposed to go to the park.

I heard my mother on the phone in the other room
trying to muffle her voice,
"You told him you were fucking coming!"

He's coming.
I know it.
I wonder what he looks like now.
I can't wait to tell him about school.
Maybe he remembered my birthday present this time.

You told me I could be anything I wanted to
Out of all the things I could've chosen

I wanted to be a writer.

You wanted me to be a Dr.
I agreed
but really
I wanted to be a writer.

I sat there staring out the window (Staring and pressing through a dirty window)
Looking for your car. (A gray Buick unseen in an ocean of honking horns)
I had my favorite outfit on
(pressed pants and new shirt crinkling in readiness)
I even drew a picture of us together. (Hands working on our “play date” in retrospect)He said he was coming almost 3 hours ago
(Meanwhile clock hands advance slowly)We were supposed to go to the park.
(As dusk advances towards the park)

I heard my mother on the phone in the other room
trying to muffle her voice,
"You told him you were fucking coming!"

He's coming.
I know it.
I wonder what he looks like now.
I can't wait to tell him about school.
I bet he remembered my birthday present this time.

So now I'm writing
Poems, not prescriptions.
And I remember you told me once,
"You can be anything you want to be"
Why didn't you want to be my dad?

This poem seems to be about “being there” for your child and the confusion arising from the disappointment of a father when they don’t “show up” in the life.
It is also about the eternal hope of child and those hopes being dashed. But the communication the child wants is still going on, this time through poetry, even if the father is not there.
With these observations, the presence of the scene could be illuminated by more detail on clothing and time elements, bringing the reader to child’s side.