Dad

[Keith]

Hi Killthepoet
I like the theme of this and with a little work on showing the reader more of what is going on rather than telling us, I think it could be much stronger. I have made some comments below that I hope will help. I have also took the liberty to offer some examples, they are just that so please feel free to ignore. One more thing I thought of is that if you are going to use writer in the last line then you need to hide it in the opening, "I wanted to be something else"

You wanted me to be a Dr.
I lied and agreed
but really
I wanted to be a writer. I think this works in that it set up a dysfunctional relationship, it could be improved by taking away some bluntness for example "I lied and agreed" could read "I lied to see you smile", that type of thing.

I sat there staring out the window you need to give us more, what were you looking at ?
I had my favorite outfit on
I even had this drawing I did for him. I had even drawn him a ????
He said he was coming almost 3 hours ago
We were supposed to go to the park.

I heard my mother on the phone in the other room
trying to muffle her voice,
"You told him you were fucking coming!" Again a good set up

He's coming.
I know it. I like this the denial make the reader soften
I wonder what he looks like now.
I can't wait to tell him about school.
Maybe he remembered my birthday present this time. Again the sympathy but this stanza is a bit sparse on images also

You told me I could be anything I wanted to
Out of all the things I could've chosen

I wanted to be a writer. You have already told us this so its not really a strong enough finish, you have set up the sympathy so why not drive home a "I got balls" final line ? eg

You told me,
I could be anything I wanted to be,

so when I'm not writing prescriptions
I will write a best seller.

Why didn't you choose to be my dad ?