11-20-2013, 03:40 AM
Linda, why do you think your work may be sappy and sophomoric?
If you truly feel that way, fix those elements and repost.
I think the piece sounds nice and has pretty language. I wouldn't call it sophomoric. I'm not sure there's much surprising about it, but that isn't always a flaw. If it had one main flaw it may be originality in execution (originality of idea is impossible to avoid as most things have been done already).
I don't dislike it though. I'm not sure that helps you at all, but those are my thoughts.
Best,
Todd
If you truly feel that way, fix those elements and repost.
I think the piece sounds nice and has pretty language. I wouldn't call it sophomoric. I'm not sure there's much surprising about it, but that isn't always a flaw. If it had one main flaw it may be originality in execution (originality of idea is impossible to avoid as most things have been done already).
I don't dislike it though. I'm not sure that helps you at all, but those are my thoughts.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson