Marsh Prayer - Third Edit

[milo]

Appreciate the feedback, thanks.

I am going to work on presenting versus describing and will post an edited version. Not sure I get it, but your lines do seem less "flat" and like they are leading on to something else. I'll take a stab at it soon. Appreciate you.

I will give the most basic example here though the concept is far more important and complex in poetry than I am providing:

describing:

There was a green glass on the table.

presenting:

The green glass on the table . . .

The one is flat prose, it is static and just describes a situation, the second is dynamic, it provides the same information but the description just exists as an image that will become important in another fashion.