Spent

[Graystar]

Hi Nick,
Excellent poetic ideas here that are solid, descriptive and leading. I love, absolutely the title.

So I'm watchin' these two butterflies
Not big ones, like Monarchs Need a comma
These ones are quarter size, yellow, and they're dancin' through the air Need lower case these and drop ones
in a tango, kung fu, copulatin' kinda way. Love this

The longer I watch, the less I remember being tied to earth by thoughts of
rising gas prices
widowed mother
looming nuclear war
imminent terrorist attack
terminated tumescence why terminated? I looked up tumescence, how does terminated apply?
next years drought
and such

Up, down, circling, colliding, caressing- I followed this, I knew it was the butterflies and your own anxiety and your own melding into being freE but maybe I read too much into it, I also thought it could be written with deliberate line breaks
Up, down
Circling, colliding
Caressing
all the while being drifted about by the breeze
over the grass, over the asphalt. Need a period

Then a car comes by and WHAM! Show wham without using the word and make shorter stanza
they're gone
Off for the ride of their life on a Hyundai bumper


But for a moment I was no longer a man
I was a third butterfly, invisible and free

Now I stand here, molted by a machine Awkward with molted but I see what you are going for could you tie in your title here: Now climaxed by machine
I stand here hoping it was good for them.
It was good for me,
and hoping it was good for them
It was good for me. Need punctuation, nice line

oh please please readjust a few bits, I loved your concept!