Molded by me

[Todd]

Hi Cloudy,

A couple comments on the latest edit:

edit 2
My heaven's shape will not be constant;
its fluid sides will undulate
like those giant bubbles I made
in the garden at four years old--
rainbow-prisons that color the air.--color the air is a nice upgrade on an already great stophe

My heaven will smell like mountainous slopes
from long ago, off highways outside Rio--
heady wet soil and wild bouquets--This gives me the smells I wanted from this part.
dirtied my toddler hands
as fresh storms filled the air.

My heaven will sound like my sister's fingers
when they fly over ivory and pound
out the melodies I hoard under guise,--I think could cut under guise. I hoard is an upgrade to soul in any event
as notes and silence hover
in the slowly stalling air.--I'm still not sure what I think of slowly stalling. There's a part of me hoping that you'll find one word to replace this construction. That said, I'm have mixed feelings about the way you have it here. It works, but there may be better options. None of which come to mind, but still you get what I'm saying.

The poem's coming together well.

Best,

Todd