11-13-2013, 01:50 AM
The last line really made me giggle. Though I know this forum isn't about technical feedback, I must say I really liked the enjambment of "try/to capture her essence", though the rhyme of "bike" and "strike" is a bit cornball. Again, though, no technicalities, it's a fun poem, smart and amusing. That last line is still making me giggle. Cheers for the read
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe