11-12-2013, 08:30 PM
Ha Ha Ha
The ending caught me by surprise. I know we don't need to give editing suggestions here, Jack.
But here goes:
L4: You could cut "only admitting"
(loved it unhinged its furry jaw)
Maybe, though it might be too cute, put a strophe break after spake.
Fun stuff, Jack.
The ending caught me by surprise. I know we don't need to give editing suggestions here, Jack.
But here goes:
L4: You could cut "only admitting"
(loved it unhinged its furry jaw)
Maybe, though it might be too cute, put a strophe break after spake.
Fun stuff, Jack.
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson