11-12-2013, 02:37 PM
You make yourself sound like a piece of meat in a den of wolves at that weaving class
This is a good enough poem for serious critique, even if it is fun. I really like your use of rhyme, which makes each verse sound almost like a limerick. A slight problem is that "ass", which evokes American English, doesn't quite rhyme with "pass". British English's much quainter "arse" would be better...
This is a good enough poem for serious critique, even if it is fun. I really like your use of rhyme, which makes each verse sound almost like a limerick. A slight problem is that "ass", which evokes American English, doesn't quite rhyme with "pass". British English's much quainter "arse" would be better...
"We believe that we invent symbols. The truth is that they invent us; we are their creatures, shaped by their hard, defining edges." - Gene Wolfe