Needles (*content*)

[PaulineG]

I'm a poetry newbie but here is my two-cents. I think it's a good, dark poem.

I lie here
dick-length from your perfect warmth -- dick-length?
and it stings, knowing what I'll do to you. -- i feel like you could find a better word then stings but it does go with the general feel of this poem

The tar-thick scent of decay
already writhes between us

and it's only a matter of time
before my needles fuck through -- i like the choice of the word fuck but i almost want to read "cut" instead. maybe it would flow better?
your beautiful skin
like a thousand
bloated
pricks
desperate to spray your insides
with all my dirt and revulsion. -- i feel like you had me until this line, i feel like its not needed or could be less awkward

I press my face hard against
the matted fuzz on your chest
knowing that I need to let you go

I cannot even look at you
without feeling tumorous. strong ending