Ghosts (revision 3)

[Todd]

Hi Violet,

Dark settles on the walls, the street lamp blinks some--The issue with moths is that its the light that is important not the dark. Doesn't the street light coming on, imply darkness? I think you could afford to just stay with your central image and not the trappings. I'm not sure if some does anything for you in the line or for the line break, but it doesn't bother me much--just wondering about it mostly.
light, then dies, then blinks again. A moth- stuck inside--Like this line fully. The flickering effect is nice, and it's a good line break. The only call out is to add a hyphen to each side of your em dash (--)
the room- pares its wings on the glass, falls to the--I love pares its wings on the glass. It gives a sense of sharpness. I'd consider breaking the line at fall, as the is an ugly line break
windowsill, then does it again. My eyelids do the same.--This is a cool comparison. I like it a lot.

I remember his mouth; how the ghosts under
his tongue slid through the cracks of his teeth,
found mine, stayed there. And the birds at the
backs of our eyes drank too much to leave.

--I like this strophe except for the break on "the" maybe pull up backs. I wonder why "under" his tongue.

He told me there's a life of everything, somewhere--of seems off here. Also this seems like a vague revelation. I'd like to see something stronger
else; one that isn't made of feathers or concrete.--feathers I get from the birds. Concrete I don't get. Again, you could use wings in some way to encompass the moth also
I'd be the flayed moth that made it through the glass,
He, the sun, and my guts would be warmed under him.--You could potentially shorten this to something like:

He told me there's a life somewhere
else where I'd be the flayed moth that made it
through the glass, He, the sun,
and my guts would be warmed under him.

I'm sure there's something you wanted to convey with the concrete, but you may be able to skip it, and circle back even stronger to your beginning images

Just thoughts. It was a good read.

Best,

Todd