11-08-2013, 08:53 PM
Hi, cloudy,
Fine edit, it reads beautifully, the bits that caught me before are all smoothed out.
The new first line is a little long, but still reads well. I might prefer the original.
I've been enjoying this one, glad you posted.
Fine edit, it reads beautifully, the bits that caught me before are all smoothed out.
The new first line is a little long, but still reads well. I might prefer the original.
I've been enjoying this one, glad you posted.
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