11-07-2013, 07:44 PM
(06-17-2013, 01:50 AM)Bunx Wrote: My poem for publets, -- Nonsense words are fun, but their meaning has to be easily inferred. This is not the case here, so it's just dangerous.
and all the nublets -- Possibly playing off of internet slang, but there's nothing else here similar, so again no inference can be made.
that happen to be reading,
seeding or feeding the -- Very weak rhymes here
hungry of the mind. -- The repetition of 'the' is unnecessary and jarring
nublets please, listen close
for though i tend to hear the most --Though makes no sense here. Though implies the qualification of an assumed contradiction-- there isn't one though.
random things in an afternoon.
it doesn't mean one still can not -- Again, why would you hearing things make us think you couldn't play near the moon?
play near the moon.
piglets come here and close.
you may die tomorrow, but
to your end, we shall brost. -- Another nonsense word, but this time I'm terrified a brost a toast to a bro. There were no other frat references, so why?
with beer and your body of coarse. -- you used the wrong 'course'
at least some can die,
without the thoughts of remorse.
remorse, feel me now. for
thou art everything that you are now. -- why use the anachronism 'thou' when nothing else is in the same manner.
i can feel you or i can die
like a pig. or the moon can be
like guiding light till the end.
If I could say only one thing before I die, it'd probably be,
"Please don't kill me"
"Please don't kill me"

