This is not my Landscape

[SirBrendan]

Thanks for the critiques. Since I came to sight I've been studying metre and structure pretty heavily using all of your (pigpen) works as a template, so this was my attempt to merge that learning with the poetry I obviously want to do. Point being, it really helps me since I want to get better.

I just skipped punctuation altogether(with the exception of commas); I think that was a mistake so that's hitting the edit.

The 'clap with singled arm' is intended to be a tongue-in-cheek way of saying 'clapping with one hand'. I like the line because it's meant to be fancy way of saying something mean. If it's confusing the poem though, I definitely have to consider a revision.

I agree with you, Chazz, that the third stanza would be better flipped. The fourth line of the third stanza feels like it's the middle of an image rather than the end and I noticed that. The only problem is that there was an interior slant rhyme for the second line to try and give it more structure, so the line is unfortunately locking me out (as far as I know).

I think however, since I feel hesitant, considering the importance of the closing line, I'm going to try to hit it in the edit. Maybe that'll help spin the wheel.

Thanks again guys/ladies