11-07-2013, 03:35 AM
Thanks for the critique mate! I do like the way you restructured it, having it end with the stars line. I think that's kind of what I was looking for as well when I was writing it.
About the line breaking, I always have a problem with that
I never really read much poetry (and I still don't too much). I prefer to listen to it, so when I write it I always speak it out loud, so I tend to write it how i would say it. So I don't know too much about line breaking, but I'll definitely experiment with it.
Cheers!
About the line breaking, I always have a problem with that
I never really read much poetry (and I still don't too much). I prefer to listen to it, so when I write it I always speak it out loud, so I tend to write it how i would say it. So I don't know too much about line breaking, but I'll definitely experiment with it.Cheers!