03-19-2010, 09:10 AM
Really nice read, you set such a sweet tone for it.
Something wrong with line 3 and 4. "... sights too remote than white cherubs...", definite grammar error there. (more? much more remote? not sure if that's what you meant.)
I find it fascinating that in your poem it's the daughter who is longing for the motherland, when the stereotype is it's the parents who feel uprooted. Liked this one.
Something wrong with line 3 and 4. "... sights too remote than white cherubs...", definite grammar error there. (more? much more remote? not sure if that's what you meant.)
I find it fascinating that in your poem it's the daughter who is longing for the motherland, when the stereotype is it's the parents who feel uprooted. Liked this one.
PS. If you can, try your hand at giving some of the others a bit of feedback. If you already have, thanks, can you do some more?