The Line
#26
(10-27-2013, 07:20 AM)milo Wrote:  
(10-27-2013, 07:13 AM)tigrflye Wrote:  And if it isn't free verse? With meter and rhyme: then, are there different line break rules? Can I break in the middle of an iamb/trochee etc? Or.. should I stick with a precise pattern?
There are different rules for line breaks with rhyme and meter but the concepts are the same. Rhyme and meter actually increase the emphasis on the last word in a line making the line break even more important. There are other rules regarding catalexis and feminine endings, post some example lines and we can walk through them.
Thanks Milo! I might as well be specific.. the poem I am working on now.. I'd like to do this with it.. but not sure if it is okay to do so.. you are welcome to use any part of it as an example..

Her short black skirt was inches from revealing 
more than thigh,
while bent to find the coins she dropped. 
His mouth betrayed a sigh,
enough hot breath to fog a glass. 
It made a sickness stem
inside my chest to spy his eyes 
attack the flimsy hem. 

A nasty smirk appeared, she turned 
and accidentally pressed 
her overflowing bosom 
up against my husband's chest.
My jaw unhinged. I thought my bulging 
eyes could take no more.
That's when he had audacity to touch 
that filthy whore. 

Their giggling burst a vessel 
somewhere deep inside my brain. 
I twirled to face a gentleman,
leaning on his cane,
"My husband likes to flirt 
with every harlot he can find. 
I'm wondering if, for revenge,
you'd like to fuck me blind?"
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Messages In This Thread
The Line - by Todd - 09-08-2011, 06:30 AM
RE: The Line - by Wildcard - 09-08-2011, 06:37 AM
RE: The Line - by Todd - 09-08-2011, 06:43 AM
RE: The Line - by Leanne - 09-08-2011, 07:32 AM
RE: The Line - by Todd - 09-08-2011, 07:45 AM
RE: The Line - by billy - 09-08-2011, 10:22 AM
RE: The Line - by Todd - 09-08-2011, 11:21 AM
RE: The Line - by billy - 09-08-2011, 11:30 AM
RE: The Line - by Todd - 09-08-2011, 11:49 AM
RE: The Line - by Leanne - 09-22-2011, 07:49 AM
RE: The Line - by Todd - 09-22-2011, 07:54 AM
RE: The Line - by Leanne - 09-22-2011, 07:58 AM
RE: The Line - by billy - 09-22-2011, 10:45 AM
RE: The Line - by Leanne - 09-22-2011, 11:04 AM
RE: The Line - by Leanne - 01-27-2013, 07:14 AM
RE: The Line - by milo - 10-26-2013, 11:57 PM
RE: The Line - by Todd - 10-27-2013, 12:03 AM
RE: The Line - by milo - 10-27-2013, 12:07 AM
RE: The Line - by ellajam - 10-27-2013, 12:23 AM
RE: The Line - by SirBrendan - 10-27-2013, 12:45 AM
RE: The Line - by milo - 10-27-2013, 12:50 AM
RE: The Line - by Todd - 10-27-2013, 03:56 AM
RE: The Line - by abu nuwas - 10-27-2013, 06:41 AM
RE: The Line - by tigrflye - 10-27-2013, 07:13 AM
RE: The Line - by milo - 10-27-2013, 07:20 AM
RE: The Line - by tigrflye - 10-27-2013, 07:31 AM
RE: The Line - by milo - 10-27-2013, 11:05 AM
RE: The Line - by tigrflye - 10-27-2013, 11:50 AM
RE: The Line - by milo - 10-27-2013, 11:54 AM
RE: The Line - by tigrflye - 10-27-2013, 12:16 PM
RE: The Line - by Todd - 10-27-2013, 11:07 AM
RE: The Line - by milo - 10-27-2013, 11:15 AM
RE: The Line - by Todd - 10-27-2013, 11:19 AM
RE: The Line - by milo - 10-27-2013, 11:22 AM
RE: The Line - by billy - 10-27-2013, 11:21 AM
RE: The Line - by Todd - 10-27-2013, 11:39 AM
RE: The Line - by ellajam - 09-14-2014, 12:54 AM
RE: The Line - by rayheinrich - 09-14-2014, 02:34 PM



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