Leaking buttons

[milo]

I like to imagine versions of me within a world that couldn't possibly exist.


Folding books into skulls
leaving eyeprints on ceilings
injecting trees into bloodstreams
carving pennies out of scotch
jumping into pockets of neon light
feeding orphans white glue
watching stones decay
holding street lights with broken finger nails
watering Gods video games.

I had several good friends that were surrealists. One of them was a damn good poet. There is a lot that goes into it and this here reads more like someone dipping their first toe into surrealism. Out of all of it, i found 2 images that were passable (one that was quite good) but little cohesion. If you have never read the surrealist manifesto or studied surrealism one of the fascinating points that you do seem to grasp here is that art is not constrained by the laws of logic or physics so there is no point in handcuffing ourselves to those laws in art.

As to the two images that were pretty good:

carving pennies out of scotch - this works on several different levels though "carve" is probably not the best verb. It works visually because of the color and it works metaphorically because of the gulf in monetary perception of the two.

watching stones decay - this is definitely the best line in the poem. i would suggest you actually take it as a foundation for a new poem. once again, it works on several different levels. It suggests the long passage of time but it also has a dystopian sense to it.

Anyway, i hope some of that was useful, good luck with the poetry.