Day Wishing

[billy]

it's a good effort as far as i can see tigr
i'm not sure but i think you can play with the meter as long as it reads with an easy flow. 878 etc, so in the first verse you could have;
Perched upon the window seat.
His nose against the glass to peek,
children played across the street.

but it's not written in stone.
the last line doesn't repeat, ( i checked)

i liked this piece. the last line and the title join together in order to see what's happening. at first i thought of vamps as something non-vampyric.

that it took a few seconds to sink in added to the light hearted sadness of what came before. no feedback as such as it works for me as a terza, and i don't see anything i'd alter unless you were going to alternate the meter

thanks for the read.

Edit (in progress)
He perched upon the window seat.
His nose against the glass to peek
as children played across the street.

He wished he wasn't such a freak
so they would welcome him to play,
convinced he'd win at hide and seek.

He pictured every sun-filled day
if Mother wasn't such a prude.
He knew just what his dad would say,
"Just drop that sulking, wistful mood!"
Polite, young vamps can't play with food.

Original:
He perched upon the window seat.
His nose against the glass to peek
at children playing games across the street.

He wished he wasn't such a freak
so friends would offer him to play,
convinced that he would win at hide and seek.

He pictured every sun-filled day
if Mother wasn't such a prude
and knew just what his dad would say:
to drop the sulking, wishful mood-
polite young vamps can't play with food.