tarnish (My first poem)

[milo]

First poem I've ever written, any and all feedback is welcome!

toddling, touching, the room is mine
with window shut and sunlight scattered,
less gold than bronze,
across a veil of dust

I meet Myself;
He lifts the pane,
and the motes,
they settle

sitting, staring, must We share?
I feel the chill
and see the tarnish;
compact and cramped is this cage

Forget Myself.
I cannot bear.
Shut the window.
I'll return to my dust.

For a first poem it is pretty good. There is some awkwardness and a little wordiness and the line breaks an periods in the last strophe are messed up but it is a nice start.