10-20-2013, 06:06 PM
Thanks for the involved and supportive critique, Billy. I just posted the second revision. I tried to take your critique into account, which helped me realize that the scope of what I want to convey could merit a sequence of sonnets. I also got back to reading Hymns to the Night, the mini-epic by Novalis that inspired me in the first place, which proved useful.
What I'm trying to focus on with this poem is as much a peculiarity to Novalis - i.e., he wrote the work for which he's best known, and took his pen name, shortly after his fiance died - as it is part and parcel of the poetic/artistic process. There is some sense in which loss, lack, privation and absence defines our activity as writers. I am hoping that an attentive reader can glean that idea from what I've written thus far, whether they know anything about Novalis or not.
What I'm trying to focus on with this poem is as much a peculiarity to Novalis - i.e., he wrote the work for which he's best known, and took his pen name, shortly after his fiance died - as it is part and parcel of the poetic/artistic process. There is some sense in which loss, lack, privation and absence defines our activity as writers. I am hoping that an attentive reader can glean that idea from what I've written thus far, whether they know anything about Novalis or not.