10-19-2013, 04:36 AM
(06-11-2013, 10:53 PM)Bunx Wrote: going camping. girl! Start off with a capital, and capitalize girl, after all it did follow a period.The poor grammar just indicates rushing and lack of effort. Did you even read this over once before posting it? The story isn't bad, but the grammar definitely doesn't help.
get that map. we Same error here
are off to the land,
were we can be there;
to the pad of nowhere. Confusing and unclear.
man. we are going camping, Same error as previously stated.
no flapping fake wings here.
we will be wrapping our fish Same error.
in foil and potatoes too.
i can cook, you all can dance How do you not capitalize "i"
and dab the night away.
waking up before the camp does, Same error.
to escape to the land of
prior earthquake. but my Same error.
growl will not wake the bear,
and the bears cry will not
make the campers shake.
but you will make me shake Would you like at that, the same error! You're on a roll.
mighty grizzly. ill sit here and There it is again. "ill" are you sick? It should be I'll.
watch you. you can watch me Surprise surprise, that pesky error again.
atop of devils glen. were we are Of course that error is here too.
friends.
going camping girl, And here.
and i never came back. And the last line, nothing different, failure to capitalize something so simple as "i"
I never highlight my flaws or deficits
Because none of that will matter when death visits
Because none of that will matter when death visits

