10-18-2013, 05:11 AM
(09-03-2013, 04:11 AM)Poetborn Wrote: Insanity now- a -days have become 1 with humanity "1" should be spelled out. Why are there two spaces between insanity and now? And spaces around the "a" when there are dashes that are there? It could just be now-a-days or even the word itself nowadays.This looks really rushed, hardly any attention to grammar and sentence structure. There were even two places where there were two spaces in between some words. You also said the words insanity/sanity a combined total of five times, in a six line poem. Keep using the same words and all you're doing is taking away from the meaning and making your take home message even worse. It looks like you tried to rhyme, humanity with gravity, thats' not bad but then there are no longer any rhymes left in the poem. Unless you count sanity and insanity, which doesn't work very well.
,and our friend morals well he has lost his very gravity This line begins with a comma? and then there are two spaces between our and friend.
But Insanity is steadily grabbing we Your title is insanity, no need to capitalize the word, we know what the idea is
, but we still nourish the deep pains line beginning with a comma again.
Often thinking we have ………. Well that we have gained our true friend sanity,but in fact its more delusions never sanity I don't think you need that many periods. And there should be a space after the comma in "sanity,but" This whole line reads bad. "but in fact its more delusions never sanity"
,from our very own friend insanity Line beginning with comma.
I never highlight my flaws or deficits
Because none of that will matter when death visits
Because none of that will matter when death visits

