10-11-2013, 06:03 PM
Hello Dest,
I get into this problem that I see in your poem sometimes as well. When you choose the speaker of the poem to be someone famous, you carry the baggage of that speaker, and even if perfectly executed the poem will often fall short. You have a worst problem in that you chose one of the great communicators of his age. Your poem will be compared with this "I have a dream" speech and always found wanting.
Even if you clean up some of the issues, I think you've set too high a bar with this speaker and your current execution.
Just my thoughts.
Best,
Todd
I get into this problem that I see in your poem sometimes as well. When you choose the speaker of the poem to be someone famous, you carry the baggage of that speaker, and even if perfectly executed the poem will often fall short. You have a worst problem in that you chose one of the great communicators of his age. Your poem will be compared with this "I have a dream" speech and always found wanting.
Even if you clean up some of the issues, I think you've set too high a bar with this speaker and your current execution.
Just my thoughts.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson