in the swifts of solitude

[shenaz]

Swimming my way along
The fish part along
Silvery fins barely touch
No imprints on the river bed
Hoping to reach the shore
I give my best stroke
Waves along the shore,
I wave back by half
Can hardly swim with a hand, no?

OK. Let's really look at this. First of all, let's not pretend that there is a great poem here. Even the concept is...er...ill-conceived. You see, there are some poems you can write that excuse themselves by some virtue over and above "competance". Don't take offence at what I am about to say, but this is not one of them...why? Well, it reads as though it has been translated by google from the original Navaho. It is not helped by the retro capitalisation of each line in lieu of punctuation. You do realise that you have only written one sentence?
So...what to do? Well, if english is not your first language I would encourage you to find a human translator to put your thoughts into some coherent and acceptable text.
"The fish part along.." is, as written, nonsense. Sorry, but there is no easier way of saying it. Rhyming along with along is hopelessly lazy....or worse, unnoticed by you.
The rest of the piece is King's clothing. Some may say fine. I say not. Can hardly is crit with half handed not thinking, yes? NO.
Read your work out loud to your postman....see what he thinks.If he says it is just fine, check you haven't got someone else's mail.
Very best,
tectak

Ok. Thanks for the analysis. Will certainly improve next time