10-11-2013, 08:24 AM
So I think I will introduce some of my old style that I had before my massive block. This is actually written as song lyrics so when it gets repetitive just bear with me. This piece is also really personal so I'm sure I'm the only one who will get it. The point is I want to learn how to better this and make it a clear message that is the best it can be. If i need to upload the music that accompanies the poem just let me know.
Warning Explicit Language
RatBoy
You're ugly. You're stupid.
You ain't worth a fucking thing.
You're lowly, and putrid,
You'll never amount to anything.
You're worthless. You're wasteful.
Why do I even bother?
You're negative, and hateful,
You don't even have a father.
(You're spinning out of control
Get back in your hole,
and go do what you're told
or watch it burn your soul)
Ratboy, little Ratboy,
This is who I am I'm Ratboy.
Confuse me and abuse me
Everyone come and use me
Break me, and rape me,
tell me how much you hate me
Beat me, and keep me,
Show me how you complete me
I'm tiny. I'm hideous.
And I'm such a fucking idiot
I hurt, and I hate me,
So nobody dares to save me
I'm silent, sick looking,
And I see you over there staring.
I'm loud. I'm crooked.
I had a chance but you took it.
(I'm spinning out of control,
I better get back in my hole,
and go do what I'm told,
Or watch it burn my soul)
Ratboy, little Ratboy,
This is who I am I'm Ratboy.
Confuse me and abuse me
Everyone come and use me
Aesthetic, pathetic,
My painted face just said it.
Come near me, Come smear me
Nothing matters to me.
I sit, and watch,
as everybody runs.
They run, away,
After promising to stay.
I'm empty. I'm useless.
Want to see me when I get ruthless?
Ain't broken, or heartless,
I'm weak but far from harmless
Ratboy, little Ratboy,
This is who I am I'm Ratboy.
Confuse me and abuse me
Everyone come and use me
I'll break you, I'll take you.
I'll show you how it feels.
I'll tear you, and scare you,
so push me again I dare you.
Hit me, slit my throat.
Don't you just want to own my soul?
Beat me, and keep me,
Show me how you complete me.
Thats all I had so far. please be hard on this one I really want to know the audience perspective or what I can do to change the effect to better suit my purpose. Don't be afraid to tell me if you think I'm nuts haha.
Warning Explicit Language
RatBoy
You're ugly. You're stupid.
You ain't worth a fucking thing.
You're lowly, and putrid,
You'll never amount to anything.
You're worthless. You're wasteful.
Why do I even bother?
You're negative, and hateful,
You don't even have a father.
(You're spinning out of control
Get back in your hole,
and go do what you're told
or watch it burn your soul)
Ratboy, little Ratboy,
This is who I am I'm Ratboy.
Confuse me and abuse me
Everyone come and use me
Break me, and rape me,
tell me how much you hate me
Beat me, and keep me,
Show me how you complete me
I'm tiny. I'm hideous.
And I'm such a fucking idiot
I hurt, and I hate me,
So nobody dares to save me
I'm silent, sick looking,
And I see you over there staring.
I'm loud. I'm crooked.
I had a chance but you took it.
(I'm spinning out of control,
I better get back in my hole,
and go do what I'm told,
Or watch it burn my soul)
Ratboy, little Ratboy,
This is who I am I'm Ratboy.
Confuse me and abuse me
Everyone come and use me
Aesthetic, pathetic,
My painted face just said it.
Come near me, Come smear me
Nothing matters to me.
I sit, and watch,
as everybody runs.
They run, away,
After promising to stay.
I'm empty. I'm useless.
Want to see me when I get ruthless?
Ain't broken, or heartless,
I'm weak but far from harmless
Ratboy, little Ratboy,
This is who I am I'm Ratboy.
Confuse me and abuse me
Everyone come and use me
I'll break you, I'll take you.
I'll show you how it feels.
I'll tear you, and scare you,
so push me again I dare you.
Hit me, slit my throat.
Don't you just want to own my soul?
Beat me, and keep me,
Show me how you complete me.
Thats all I had so far. please be hard on this one I really want to know the audience perspective or what I can do to change the effect to better suit my purpose. Don't be afraid to tell me if you think I'm nuts haha.