10-11-2013, 06:43 AM
Fix the grammar up a little bit. Not too much. Minor things, like the they typoed as the, and maybe a few other things that you can decide on. The quick and typical forced rhymes might be meant in mockery, but they're not very effective so far.
Most rednecks, and rapper-wannabes that I know are cocksuckers that don't deserve to live. But then again, I'm biased against them. So you have a good theme here. Just not very effective as a poem yet.
Most rednecks, and rapper-wannabes that I know are cocksuckers that don't deserve to live. But then again, I'm biased against them. So you have a good theme here. Just not very effective as a poem yet.