10-09-2013, 01:27 AM
Thank you all for the comments. As I said above this poem is personal so some of the elements have a specific meaning.
@ellajam:
I've edited it for some changes.
Re:not of.. I use that as a reminder and a caution to emphasise that people care for her. To remind her that her loss would have meaning to others.
And all because This line is necessary as it's the whole reason for the "tale".
The last 3 lines again are for emphasis but maybe would work better if the last part was divided into two parts of 3 lines, maybe?
@ellajam:
I've edited it for some changes.
Re:not of.. I use that as a reminder and a caution to emphasise that people care for her. To remind her that her loss would have meaning to others.
And all because This line is necessary as it's the whole reason for the "tale".
The last 3 lines again are for emphasis but maybe would work better if the last part was divided into two parts of 3 lines, maybe?