Sharon Frost

[Nick]

Venturing out of critiquing in just novice, so bear with me, because even in that forum I lack credibility. The first two stanzas list characteristics and adjectives. That's more telling instead of showing. The rest of the poem also tells the story instead of showing, I think you can describe just a little bit more in each stanza and it will go a long way. The story itself was something I enjoyed. The take home message at the end was perfect. I often find myself regretting things I didn't do rather than the things I did, you never know till you try right? So go for those things! It's much better saying to yourself well now I know, instead of losing sleep over what could of been. Wait, I may have misread that part after halfway, yeah, I think so haha. Well I got the real message now, but I think my critique still applies, just not as much haha.

I get what you are sayin'.
Thanks for your views.

---

Pale smooth unblemished skin
straight nose, line smiling
cupid's bow lips, thin.

Hair so blonde it was almost white
Blue eyes, not piercing
happy
kind
(She invited me to her house)

There was a problem with the
cupboard hinge 'Could I fix it?'
Would she care?

I didn't know how,
told her and her mother -
sorry
never went back,
Always felt
I left something there
Intangible, irretrievable.

We were 14 that year
Now, 60 days from 56th birthday
it seems it happened
last week.

Always act from the heart pardner.

What you do never leaves you.

Interesting treatment.
Thanks.