Was it?

[Mogra]

Was it?

Sreech, skid, bang, crash, thump Screech*
Crumpled metal and shattered dreams Clever, crumple means to crush to become wrinkled and creased, crumble means to break apart into small fragments (usually over time) both work here, but in my opinion I think that crumble would work better with the rest of this poemMetal doesn't really crumble, so I prefer crumple, perhaps because cars have crumple zones
Screams of pain ,a voice forever silenced a little bit off with the commaI agree , this line is tricky to get the message across
Shards of glass scattered in scarlet pools I liked this line a lot

Whisps of smoke smoke-o-whisp hahaMisspelling but I'll keep it
fleeing skyward I got two interpretations from this, freedom! or loss of life? I wanna say freedom, since that makes more sense in this poem
It can be both, chasing the ascending soul and at the same time fleeing from the pain of losing that soul
trying in vain
to outrace the pain
left by one now absent structure wise sounds weird to me, possibly in need of a comma

Casts on arms and legs
Yet what can heal
a broken heart I suggest replacing heart with something that alludes to that meaning and conveys a deeper messagecan't think of anything else for here to be honest
Replace a bright soul?

Falling tears, heartbreaking wails
thud of earth on casket
lowered for one final embrace
not of loved ones Structure wise, just sounds weird to me again
but
of
cold
dark
earth
I think the above five lines can be put into one or two lines, unless you wanted this to be direct and what not, either way is completely fine, just curious as to the reason behind thisNo I wanted it this way the 5 words on separate lines to emphasise the cold finality of it

And all because,
of temper unchecked
A desire to win!
The above two lines, I know exactly what you mean, been there, many times
Was it worth it...
Was it worth it?
Was it?
Good way to end this poem

All in all I enjoyed the imagery of the first part of this poem and the depth of explanation in the second half. I just made a few comments/suggestions, hope these help! Thanks for the read. Aaaaaaaand I just realized this is not the novice poet and critique, whoops I could of sworn I clicked on that forum, well yeah....

I appreciate the comments.
It's a poem to a friend who does not consider drink driving risky and her reasons for doing so.
I wanted to show accidents happen, the pain of loss she would leave behind and the reality of death for her and her loved one's and all for the most foolish of reasons.

Was it?

Screech, skid, bang, crash, thump
Crumpled metal and shattered dreams
Screams of pain counter a voice forever silenced
Shards of glass scattered in scarlet pools

Whisps of smoke
fleeing skyward
trying in vain
to outrace the pain
of one now absent

Casts on arms and legs
Yet what can heal
a broken heart
Replace so bright a soul?

Falling tears, heartbreaking wails
thud of earth on casket
your last embrace (maybe this is better?)
not of loved ones
but
of
cold
dark
earth

And all because,
of temper unchecked
A desire to win!
Was it worth it...
Was it worth it?
Was it?