NIghtlight

[Jeffrey Gibson]

.

Erratic faerie flight,
flitting ‘cross the lawn,
dancing through the night,
illuminate till dawn.

Illuminate is ordinarily transitive, isn't it? It seems to me that you need to say what it is that the flight and the flitting and the dance illuminates. And if you are using it with the intransitive sense of "glow", then the verb needs to be "illuminates" to agree in number with "flight", yes?

Fluorescing honey bees,
eliciting soft sighs.
Within a copse of trees,
what is this you spy,

L 8 seems halting to me. It needs a monosyllabic word between "this" and "you". Perhaps "what is this thing you spy"?

that makes your heart to seize:

"Makes your heart to seize" is an awkward and ungrammatical phrase. It looks as if it's rhyme (and meter) at any cost. And my first thought upon reading the expression was "makes your hears seize what?". If you wanted to be clever -- especially if you are saying that the sight you speak of makes your hear "seize up", is to use the word "up-seize". You'd wouldn't then be sacrificing sense on the altar of rhyme.

Jeffrey