a point arose about this is not poetry

[Leanne]

I, too, only really care about the poem -- or the future poems that a poet might produce. I don't come here to make friends (although occasionally they turn out to be an unfortunate side effect). It is also true, however, that poetry is one of the most essentially human endeavours and nurturing the human poet will produce the best results. By nurturing I do not mean coddling. Empty praise is, as has been said several times here and elsewhere, often far more damaging than any other kind of feedback.

What I do recommend is this: if you are not the preeminent expert on any given topic, do not make definitive statements that will instantly set others on the defensive and lead to their rejection of your opinion, even if it is ultimately valid. Just as nobody particularly likes religious folk preaching at them on their doorsteps, stating your own belief as if it is the only possible truth is not a good way to get your message across.

It is not sugar coating to ask that people not be destructive in their criticism -- and I do mean criticism, in the truest sense of the word. To criticise is to look at a piece from several possible angles, to break it into its component parts and to consider all aspects, both positive and negative. "Literary critics" these days rarely practice criticism, but censure.