It all ends tonight

[FractalPacifist]

This feels like a piece with a lot of emotion behind it, but it's not coming through very strongly. I would focus on increasing the concrete imagery you use; let us see more of the scene, more of the person, and the loss will feel more potent.

Good start, though!

(Tectak's line-by-line breakdown was pretty strong, but I threw in a few more points.)

I remember the day she came in, I feel like this would be stronger if you found a way to evoke a memory without saying "I remember".
It was dark and one lonely soul -
could barely be seen
I took her in, gave her home;
filled her body with warmth
She said: "Thank you",
as she strolled to the bed,
And then got lost in the field of dreams. "field of dreams" is a little cliche. Different way to say she went to sleep?

I remember the days when I -
could see her everywhere I went
and the nights she smoked cigarettes
with such style, on the terrasse
She would nod as I entered the home
And I would show my smile to the shadows,
instead of her with shyness. this line feels a little strained grammar-wise.

One day as I was coming back from work,Try a physical image here. Mention your car pulling into the driveway, or something like that.
I heard strange noises, my home
was sinking low.
Something swallowed it from inside,
She screamed just once,
So I can know she is there,
And left me hopeless just to stare.

I remember those days clearly,
after all, how can I forget,
In every dream of mine she exists
slowly walking away
into the darkness.