10-01-2013, 04:41 AM
Hardly any imagery here. You tell instead of showing. The only image is the one with the herd and that one is a huge cliché. To me, this does not even look like a poem (If you rewrote it like a prose it would make hardly any difference).
Try using more images. The "stream of consciousness" could be worth examining.
Try using more images. The "stream of consciousness" could be worth examining.