09-29-2013, 02:47 PM
Hi ella,
I thought that perhaps the first line might not be needed at all, and that you could start with
A hundred-ringed trunks lean, As this will make a much stronger start and for me carries the image of mature trees in a gale, so making the first line redundant.
My other thought is that your last word (Unbound) does not sound /feel quite right here.
All the best AJ.
I thought that perhaps the first line might not be needed at all, and that you could start with
A hundred-ringed trunks lean, As this will make a much stronger start and for me carries the image of mature trees in a gale, so making the first line redundant.
My other thought is that your last word (Unbound) does not sound /feel quite right here.
All the best AJ.