09-23-2013, 05:00 AM
There are a few phrases I like here:
brittle trumpets
echoes of morphine
Issues I had were unneeded asides and redundancy:
masked masquerading for instance
confusing point of view changes (quick pronoun changes)
choppy transitions
Perhaps consider looking at those areas.
Best,
Todd
brittle trumpets
echoes of morphine
Issues I had were unneeded asides and redundancy:
masked masquerading for instance
confusing point of view changes (quick pronoun changes)
choppy transitions
Perhaps consider looking at those areas.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson