09-18-2013, 08:39 AM
I also puzzled over the relationships. It could be a mum who is spoken of, or it could be a female teacher, perhaps the object of a school-girl pash; or the mum might be a teacher. In a sense, one may say it does not matter much, as the feelings evoked by the passing of time and change in habit by the older woman would be the same. It is a bitter-sweet nostalgic piece, of wit and regret.
I think, and I may be alone, that as it is a narrative, it perhaps would benefit from greater clarity; then again, for once, a thin veil of ambiguity was part of the fun of reading, for me. I liked the sentient and talkative body parts -the nose, the small left breast, and especially, probably because of how I am right now this:
''There is a part of my heart
that slips down past my lungs
and under my belly
when I see your shame ..''
I think, and I may be alone, that as it is a narrative, it perhaps would benefit from greater clarity; then again, for once, a thin veil of ambiguity was part of the fun of reading, for me. I liked the sentient and talkative body parts -the nose, the small left breast, and especially, probably because of how I am right now this:
''There is a part of my heart
that slips down past my lungs
and under my belly
when I see your shame ..''