One step closer.

[Erthona]

Hi there,

Meter is often difficult, but worth the work, so I commend you on doing so. It appears you are writing in "trochee dimeter".

You may know the following already, but in case you do not:
Trochee is a two syllable meter composed of a "hard" or accented syllable followed by a "soft" or non-acented syllable, such as in the word "sitting" [sit-ing]. These two syllables together constitute one foot. "Dimeter" is composed of two feet. Thus when a line is composed of trochee and is two feet long it is refereed to as "trochee dimeter".

I'll make some edits in the first few stanzas to regularize it into trochee dimeter to give you some examples of how it looks and sounds. When a person appears to be writing in a formal meter, but then goes off meter, it causes a hesitation in the reading, which is not usually considered optimal.
Although you are fairly close, there are enough times when you are not that it really hinders the reading. Hopefully you will find this of some benefit.

Dale
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[quote='Savanna' pid='139354' dateline='1379117314']

Sitting in fear,
as all unfolds
before my eyes,
emotions know

There is calm,
afraid, to move,
a whisper shares,
you are no fool

You see it all
it holds you back,
perhaps you have
not found your track

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original

Sitting in this fear,
all unfolds
before my eyes,
my emotions know

Their is calm,
afraid, hesitant to move,
a whisper shares,
you are no fool

You see it all
yet it holds you back,
perhaps you haven't
found your track