Ole Torkelson's Broken Loo (Dialect)

[Snowbells]

(slightly revised version)

Dat ol’ loo in de house got broke; so
I dug a pit sum six feet deep
an den four feet each way, an put
across a plank, which wuz darn cheap.

Vell, yu know, dat certain moment
comes; I let my ol suspenders hang
an drop my B’Gosh Oshgosh jeans,
an den get set for the big shebang.

Vat do yu think? I squat the hole, an
by jeez, I hear not vun damn thing.
Den I look down at vat I’ve dun . . .
My tough suspender is a sling--

For slinging skit, by jeez!
An vorse—no vipe for viping here,
an no corn cob. I’m in a squeeze,
an jeez, de missus cannot hear.

Original (incomplete)

Dat ol’ loo in de house got broke; so
I dug a pit sum six feet deep an den four feet
each way, an put across a plank to sit.

Vell, yu know, dat certain moment
cumes; I let my ol suspenders hang
an drop my B’Gosh Oshgosh jeans,
an den get set for the shebang.

Vat do yu think? I squat the hole,
by jeez, I hear not vun damn thing.
Den I look down at vat I’ve dun . . .
My tough suspender is a sling--

For slinging skit, by jeez!
An vorse—no vipe for viping here,
an no corn cob. I’m in a squeeze,
an jeez, de missus cannot hear.