The Dragon Down the Hall (sans the satirical self-critique)

[billy]

at first glance this is nowt more than a petulant rant. on closer inspection, (after a few reads) i think it's fucking excellent. i have no idea of the poet's intention in writing this poem, but it works on two or three levels. the level i like is how it shows where things don't work, how shows that accepting crit is hard, so hard that a poet can beat them self up about it but doing this poem. i say this with sincerity; i think this is the best poem of yours i've read. it has emotion, it's pointed, it's intent while clear is also ambiguous (to some extent)

it also carries a lot of truth in the critique which resides in the poem.
loved it

Half a stone’s throw down a narrow hall a "stone" is 16.2 lbs, and that distance divided by half? Somewhat obscure Mr. lacking obscurity.
And across the room at the other end What infernal misconception do you have about capitalization?!? This anachronistic pedantacism is utterly repulsive.
Is a door to a place, a lair I’m sure,
Where a dragon lays his head. Why his "head?" Very cliche'. Do you think it rhymes with "end." Not nearly enough to venture into the world of clichedom (you seem to live in).

It is definitely some sort of mystical monster, and your penchant for alliteration makes me want to vomit ... only because it is so ... predictable. Why "mystical monster?" Try "misunderstood" ... trust your reader to figure out the right word.
A shape-shifter that simply doesn’t reveal there is again ...that alliteration ... again! If I wanted to read that I could go to any other poetry workshop on the web ... cease, and desist with the such an abundance of alliteration!
An appearance consistent with its terrifying nature I am not terrified
Yet I assure you the dragon is real. Don't tell, show!

Tales of dragons in legends describe
Nostrils blasting fire in angry breath,
Villages and all their inhabitants
Scorched ‘till there’s nothing left. This entire stanza is unnecessary!

But the dragon that lurks down the hall in my life I almost like the "in my life."
Has never expressed a visible flame,
Yet I shudder at times when in the dragon’s eyes
I see the inferno rage!

And though it cleverly never leaves physical evidence
Of razor sharp claws that adorn its feet,
My heart has been slashed when its eyes flash fire
Cuts both long and deep.

Yes I tremble at the visage of a mortal man
For I know certainly it is just a disguise,
And in its presence I have learned how I must behave
To quell the fire that rages in its eyes.

The dragon compels me to face that which I fear
Squared up, without detectable fret.
It expects my voice to be strong and steady
My eyes narrowed and never wet.

It insists I ask questions that need to be asked
And risk a response I wouldn’t like,
I can sense it is always evaluating my inclination
To stand my ground or run from a fight

I was once miserable knowing what the dragon expects
And too fearful not to do what it wants,
I longed to be free of the dragon’s domain
To turn from scary things and run.

It is a great burden to know what I know
And keep silent for fear of being called a fool,
Because I am certain were I to disclose my secret
I would be subject to much ridicule.

You see the dragon doesn’t disclose his nature
To others in my world
As a matter of fact he only appears
If I act like a scared little girl.

Life would be so much more pleasant and comfortable
Were I permitted to live confrontation free,
To avoid anything that makes me feel awkward or intimidated
To just be as I would like to be.

But the dragon, the bane of my existence
Watches with jaundiced eye,
And insures I am more scared of its wretched wrath
Then circumstances that would make me cry.

So I do what I must and act with courage
Sometimes courage I didn’t know I had,
I do it because the dragon is always present
Masquerading as a human man.

You might think I pray for a prince to arrive
To face the dragon and take his head,
But that really wouldn’t work out so well
My dad loves me and I don’t want him dead.
fim,
I would have liked to complete my line by line but I couldn't take anymore of each line being capitalized!!! Why do you do that?!?! ... do you have a setting in your word processing system labeled poem self-denigration selected? Edit for capitalization, meter, use of clichés, content and clarity.
MoftheMM